day 24.

- letter to your parents.
mom,
you are the strongest person i have ever met in my entire life. i look up to you so much because of what you have been through. you went from a married, stay at home mom to a working, divorced mother of two. you took care of me and erik along with the house, payments, car, everything when dad left. i don't know how you did it, but i am so thankful that you are my mother. i don't know where i would be in life without you. you were my rock when everyone else wasn't there. after every break up, even when i was in elementary school, you were there. you helped me with life. i am the person i am today because of you. i couldn't have asked for a better mother. i love you. thank you.

dad,
i watched you tear our family apart from the eyes of a five-year-old. i didn't understand anything that went on. all i know is that you destroyed our life. to this day you cannot let go the fact that "mom is a bad person" or "mom is the devil". LET IT GO, DAD! you are the one who fucked up. you are the one with the personality disorder. do not drag me into the divorce that happened, what? thirteen years ago? learn to let things go because i will no longer listen to your rants about how you lost everything. you broke this yourself. you have no one else to blame. i am sick and tired of going out with you and being put down because you can't handle the fact that i don't want to be around you. you need to learn how to love again, to appreciate, to give a fucking compliment every once and a while. and until then, we will only go out to eat together. we will only go to a movie or mini golfing. we will only spend a few hours together. i can't handle any more than that anymore. but i wanted to thank you. you have made me the strong person that i am today.

"when i was younger i saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind.
he broke his own heart and i watched as he tried to reassemble it.
and my momma swore that she would never let herself forget.
and that was the day that i promised i'd never sing of love if it does not exist."